Are You Open to Receiving Feedback?
Before you read any further, pause for a moment and check in with yourself:
Are you open to receiving feedback?
Yes? No? Always? Sometimes? It depends?
Take a breath. What feels authentically true?
At The Conscious Leadership Group, we support leaders in exploring their relationship to life itself. That’s the essence of Context Coaching: noticing how we’re being with life, which reveals how we’re also creating it, every part of it. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. From this self-awareness, so much more becomes possible.
One of my favorite doorways into this awareness is becoming an exquisite receiver of feedback.
And here’s one of the most important truths I’ve seen again and again:
Once we start taking someone’s feedback personally—making it mean something about who we are—we’re no longer fully available for learning.
This resistance is normal and natural. It’s one of the many ways our ego keeps us safe- to protect us from discomfort, from the threat of being wrong, from the vulnerability of being seen.
Why Feedback Feels So Hard
In both professional and personal life, feedback is meant to be a catalyst for growth. At its best, it’s a clear-eyed, intentional sharing of observations aimed at supporting development and enhancing performance.
So why wouldn’t we want it?
Most of us say we do. As a growth-minded person, I want to improve. I want better relationships. I want to perform at the highest level. Logically, it seems obvious feedback would help.
But receiving feedback can be vulnerable. It pushes against our desire to maintain a positive self-image. It evokes fear— of rejection, of criticism, of not being good enough.
The moment we make feedback mean something about our worth, we’ve left curiosity behind.
We resist feedback because at some level… it scares us.
This too is normal and natural. It's a sign that our ego has stepped in to shield us from a perceived threat.
How Resistance Hides
This resistance is slippery for many of us. It’s easy to believe we’re pro-feedback, while missing opportunities to actually receive it.
I see this all the time in leaders I coach. They say they’re open to feedback—yet don’t create real forums for others to offer it. Or they respond with subtle defensiveness: dissecting the content of the feedback without meeting it with genuine curiosity.
Instead of cultivating cultures that help to overcome our social conditioning (like “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”), they unconsciously reinforce cultures where people keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.
Another sign? When a leader worries someone on their team “won’t receive feedback well.”
That’s a clue they themselves are meeting a growth edge in their capacity to receive feedback.
It’s an edge they’ll need to explore before they become a leader who can deliver feedback with precision, quality and care.
My Turning Point (The Moment I Met my Resistance)
In 2017, I was in a year-long coaching program. During one session, I coached a peer in a breakout group. I felt good about how it went.
Afterward, another peer provided feedback. It wasn’t all glowing. I felt myself freeze. Heat rose into my face. Internally, I bristled. I felt defensive and unseen, questioning his observations. As the larger group moved on, I found myself fixated on his feedback. Emotions swirled.
I wasn’t present anymore– I was distracted, angry, and self-absorbed.
Then, a realization dawned: What if his first point was valid?
I could acknowledge how it was. Then I examined the next. And the next.
With each one, I asked myself:
“How is it true?”
Each time I let it in, my defensiveness softened. I still felt discomfort—but now it came with clarity. I could see the truth in his feedback and my initial resistance to it. In that moment, I wasn't just taking in the feedback; I was witnessing my own growing capacity for self-awareness and choice.
My reactivity had been rooted in fear—my ego trying to keep me safe. But that protection came at a cost:
- I wasn’t open to seeing how I could improve
- I spent energy ruminating instead of creating
- I missed the next sessions’s content
- I strained my relationship with the person who gave the feedback
If left unchecked, the strain could have lasted.
All of this is normal—- and all of it blocks high performance and meaningful connection.
The Power of Asking “How is it true?”
Let’s come back to the question at the beginning of this article.
Try these two pieces of feedback on:
- You’d be even more successful if you were more receptive to feedback in the moment.
- You say you’re open to feedback, but you’re not as open as you think.
Whichever feels LESS accurate….pause.
Ask yourself: “How is it true?”
Look for the evidence. Gently. Let curiosity lead.
This is the opposite of defensiveness. It’s the posture of an open, agile learner. And the more you embrace this posture, the more you invite others to do the same.
With time, I watch my clients accelerate their growth simply by getting better at receiving feedback. They ask for it. They make space for it. They build relationships rooted in trust—trust that feedback won’t be taken personally, but received with curiosity and a generative spirit.
This kind of a relationship is a game-changer.
A Competitive Advantage for Teams
Now imagine a whole team practicing this— people working together in this open, curious posture. One of my favorite journeys with clients is through our Conscious Culture Program, where we work with teams over time to build feedback-rich environments. In these cultures, team members have practiced and developed a capacity for giving and receiving feedback without becoming reactive. The focus shifts from defending to learning.
The first instinct becomes, “How is it true?”
These teams surface individual and collective wisdom more quickly, accelerating innovation, alignment, and execution. In a rapidly changing world, that kind of culture isn’t just healthy—- it’s a true competitive advantage.
The Practice
Here’s how to begin opening more to the power of feedback:
- Reflect: Are you receiving as much feedback as you could from everyone in your life?
- Ask: Reach out to key people and invite their feedback. You can share this “Giving Feedback” prompt sheet to help them be thorough.
- Practice: Review “The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback” regularly to support you in adopting an open posture
Remember: Feedback is a gift.
It’s an accelerator of transformation on your leadership path—and your life path.
And if you'd like to play with giving feedback right now…
Complete this sentence and email it to jfallon@conscious.is:
“This article would have been better if…”
I’m thanking you in advance for anything you’re willing to share.
